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Pros and Cons: The Busy Weekend

PRO: Fedor Emelianenko. Do people forget he’s like 30 or 31 years old, younger than Anderson Silva, and still in the prime of his career? One day I will go back and look for the names of everyone that predicted Sylvia in a first round TKO. I know it’s easy to predict an upset and then never mention it again unless that person wins and you take full credit. At the same time, Sylvia was the easiest top 10 matchup for Fedor. I had also forgotten how Fedor and Cro Cop are the top two guys I’ve ever seen at throwing punches that made me feel pain at home. Maybe it’s the microphones in the PRIDE/DREAM ring or maybe it’s not, but their punches look more painful than anyone I’ve ever seen. Fedor is going to lose eventually (and not to Couture) but give him a couple of years until he’s out of his prime. It has nothing to do with strength of opponents.

PRO: mattfororegon.com. Matt Lindland’s Oregon House run. Nice cowboy hat by the way. Or go to the why he’s running page and see his lovely blame game and why his positions are as boring as his fighting. Don’t get me wrong Matt, I know you probably didn’t write a word on your site and while your family is lovely. I just don’t know where Oregon’s 52nd district is and like nearly everyone reading this I went, “Oregon has 52 districts?” Good luck. Just don’t wear the wrong t-shirt to the Oregon House.

CON: Mike Whitehead’s thighs. Mike, I’m not sure who told you that you could pull off the Muay Thai shorts in your fight with Babalu but they were way off. Melvin Manhoef can pull them off, you just look like a chunky white guy who feels as though I should see his pasty thighs. Please don’t ever do that again.

CON: Buffer card tossing. I didn’t write down which card this was from but I’ll just assume it was Michael on the Affliction card. On the intros you saw Buffer holding his blue cards and after reading one he tossed it behind him like litter only for the refreree to pick up like it was his job. The refs are not your garbage men. I don’t know how the Buffers took complete control of the MMA announce game but do realize the refs are not there as people out on parole to pick up your trash on the highway. Just put the first card in the back like the rest of us do when we give a presentation. The both of you are jackasses.

CON: Referee introductions. I’m getting a little tired of the fighter, fighter, ref intros in MMA fights. I know in combat sports we always mention the referee in charge but I’m a little tired of Mario Yamasaki getting the last intro after the main event fighters. As with all sports I shouldn’t know who the referee is unless that person did a horrific job. I’m not there to see the refs and I don’t care who they are. If you’re going to go on with this atleast announce who the refs are prior to the live card so I can pick my fights accordingly based on their previous horrible calls. If you’re not going to do that spare me the time of introducing the official like he’s one of the fighters.

PRO: Donald Trump, Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson all sitting together. Is that not the creepiest threesome in history? Bad hair, big head and …. I don’t even know what Jenna Jameson is anymore. I’d like to sit with those three for some type of MMA event. I’ll add that to my “things to do before I die” list along with (a) play a round of golf at St. Andrews, (b) visit Tokyo, (c) sleep with 18-year-old Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and (d) recognize someone on America’s Most Wanted. It would be as much fun as hiding behind my bathroom door and yelling my dog’s name only to watch him run back and forth looking for me. My life is very simple.

CON: Affliction’s audio. I know I’m not the only person to get the first part of the broadcast either on mute or in Spanish. I don’t know anything about television broadcasting, I’m a poorly educated blogger, but I do know major cards don’t have their events streamed in Spanish to the buying public. Video and audio are the two top problems you need to tackle…. just ask Rio Heroes.

CON: Deer. Yes, deer. I walked my dog last night and as we went out on my porch there was a deer standing on my driveway. Now as I assume most of you are thinking, “I can take a deer.” Yeah, that makes sense until you see a deer. I looked at the deer, the deer looked at me, the deer looked at my dog, my dog looked at the deer. Suddenly we’re in this strange threeway glancefest wondering who will run away first. It was the deer, yet I’m here thinking I’m going to have to fight a deer to save my dog. But coming into this event I was fairly certain I could take a deer…. after having seen a deer up close I’m not very confident. It’s easy to think of a deer as a nice, tranquil creature. They’re not, they’re very large and scary, especially when you’re not in your car missing them by a foot on a rural highway. My point? You can’t beat up a deer. They’re much scarier than they may seem as you drive by them. Just another fun life fact from me to put in your memory bank.

36 COMMENTS
  • Jeff L says:

    I have been waiting on this post since Saturday wrapped up. You sir, deliver. Good times.

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  • Vern says:

    Fedor would have choked the deer out. Why are you such a pussy?

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  • Midwestbred says:

    LMAO, as an Iowa resident, I will support your claim that deers are not as innocent looking up close.

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  • Midwestbred says:

    yes, i reread my post and I did say “deers”…my bad

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  • Gong says:

    Lindland’s son looks like the dog from family guy?

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  • JacRabbit says:

    I hear many have died by deer–kinda creepy.

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  • Mike Wolfe says:

    Well, don’t be too hard on Matt the candidate. Remember Al Gore yelling “Aye will fight fur you” during the 2000 election? Lindland actually could fight fur you. And very likely win.

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  • “Lindland’s son looks like the dog from family guy?”

    Dammit. I’m not even going to edit my post out of stupidity. You know what I meant. CHRIS. CHRIS.

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  • Gong says:

    Haha, s’all good. S’alll goood.
    Just try not to let Lindland know.

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  • Mike D says:

    This guy is a JACKASS!!!!! Maybe u should go to school and get an education instead of blogging.

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  • Brandon Sanchez says:

    Beautiful. As always.

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  • Venom says:

    “I didn’t write down which card this was from but I’ll just assume it was Michael on the Affliction card.”

    I’m not sure which event you were watching, but you’re off on this one. It was BRUCE Buffer that was tossing cards on the floor after reading them off.
    I agree, though! It was very unprofessional. Calling them both “jackasses” was a bit of a stretch though. LOL

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  • BJJ in VA says:

    You, Nancy, are the guy my friends and I make leave the room for ten minutes to think about what you just said that was blatantly homoerotic. For shame.

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  • Jez says:

    lmao at the deer.

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  • Ken says:

    Michael.

    Could you please clarify what you mean by the following quote?

    “I do wonder why your daughter’s knees are all muddy.”

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  • Mike Olson says:

    You need to take it down a notch buddy. You are not as big a deal as you think, of that I am certain.

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  • AJB says:

    What’s with people getting personal like you just slapped their children? I thought it was funny as hell…

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  • HexRei says:

    i could beat up a deer easy.

    i’m an oregonion and i wont be voting for lindland, although i think a lot of oregonians will. he’s very conservative and religious and outside the multnomah county area so is a lot of oregon.

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  • NoRegrets says:

    I agree with #15

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  • mikee says:

    Whoever can not find the humor in laughing at other people’s expense, are a waste of time to talk to anyway. Whoever can write an article such as this one is also someone who has no problems laughing at him / herself from time to time. #14 and #9, you disgust me. Loosen up, laugh a little, annd get a life!! It’s too short!!!!

    Very entertaining article Michael. For some of us who work boring day to day jobs, it is good shit like this that actually brightens our day. Don’t listen to #9 & #14, turds.

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  • “You need to take it down a notch buddy. You are not as big a deal as you think”

    I AM A HUGE DEAL DUDE!

    “Could you please clarify what you mean by the following quote? ‘I do wonder why your daughter’s knees are all muddy.’

    If you really need it explained I’ll be in jail and you’ll feel bad.

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  • Nevermind, I think Caplan just removed the dirty joke I was wondering if I should put up.

    Question answered.

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  • tricky dicky says:

    to compound the otriz jameson trump thing, Don Johnson and Michael Madsen were not far. I walked by and a cold chill went down my back.

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  • NoRegrets says:

    Oops I meant #16 and yes people do need to lighten up a little

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  • Jeff L says:

    Awww, it got edited? YOU CENSOR THE HUCK??? Man, if you cant make fun of a fighter’s family over the internet, then what kind of site are you running here??

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  • Jesse says:

    I have the Buffers throw blue cards at the deer, that usually scares them away. (Then Herb Dean cleans it up.)

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  • ACK! says:

    I don’t get the point of this article at all. It’s not funny or interesting in the least… Though I can’t fault it for trying…

    I guess I’ll just have to remember to skip these from now on.

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  • roomservicetaco says:

    “The both of you are jackasses.”

    Strongly disagree – at least on one of them.

    On the scale of MMA announcing:

    1. Michael Buffer
    2a. Joe Martinez (WEC, Spanish-language boxing)
    2b. Jimmy Lennon, Jr.

    87. Bruce Buffer

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  • blaze says:

    is this site a) professional b) second class or c)a waste of money and time for everyone associated with it..

    what is the point of this site? to make money?

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  • GB says:

    Lindland doesn’t write a word on his website? You should read some of his old posts on Baroni and Diesel Riggs at some of the MMA forums. He’s a far better writer (not to mention funnier) than you are.

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  • urabozoo says:

    The deer story was the best. I read it to my wife and she laughed her ass off. Ignore all the people that dont have a sense of humor, I found it great.

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  • Drew says:

    Can anyone catch me up on what was edited. Huck a Pro or a sorry Con ??? You make the call

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  • derreckla says:

    I also don’t care about who is overseeing the championship bout, they have to do Blah blah from the state athletic commish and announce the three JUDGES, WHO GIVES AN S!

    Also, I can do away with buffter (UFC version) doing his jumping antics and hands flailing. Live it’s ridiculous looking, trying to look like a rock star. Also his long…the UNDISPUTED,………REIGNING,…….. LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT….just shut the F up and get to it already….

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  • flyingogoplata says:

    The poor quality of articles like this are leading me to go to other sites like mmajunkie a lot more often. For a fan that’s interested in the actual pros and cons from the weekend this article was a real let down. Is this a site that wants to be taken seriously or just a joke?

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  • Kuch says:

    Huck,

    Great article as always. I saw the Buffer card toss, and it looked like he was trying to put it behind his back but accidentally dropped it. Maybe I was just giving his the benefit of the doubt though.

    Yeah, people need to lighten up.

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  • VerticalX says:

    You sir made my day

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