twitter google

Pros and Cons: EXC Unfinished Business

PRO: Magical blood on the mat. OMG where did it come from!? I wonder what prelim had so much blood. Will I get to see it? Was it stopped? Oh the questions are endless and the temptation? Palpable. There is something magical about that start of the show blood on the mat and it gives you that little smirk as your hopes for the show have suddenly gone up.

CON: Magical blood on the mat. My first thought when I turned into Showtime was, “oh that’ll look great on national television.” I’m sure the casual viewer at 9pm on primetime network television loved those big puddles of blood in the cage. I’m sure that didn’t harm the “bloodsport” aspect and perception of the event at all. I’m sure soccer moms and pudgy liberal sportswriter blowhards (say Mariottis or Plaschkes or Kornheisers) absolutely loved seeing that. That wouldn’t turn anyone away. Who is in charge of cleaning the mat between fights? I’m sure shady hotel housekeepers have to clean up large puddles of blood all the time. Can you hire them? I know for a fact they work cheap.

PRO: Frank Shamrock has braces? Awesome. Is he the toughest man on the planet with braces? Shouldn’t that be in the Guinness Book of World Records? Who is the toughest man on the planet with eyeglasses? What about the toughest man on the planet with a hairlip? Toughest ginger? Okay, that’s probably Jason MacDonald but you get my point. Though I don’t know if he qualifies with so few freckles.

PRO: EliteXC drinking game. Feel free to add your own but take a drink whenever Mauro Ranallo makes a bad joke or pun, Frank Shamrock says the word “gameplan,” Nick Diaz curses, or when Gus Johnson is awesome. Oh no, scratch that last one. I don’t want anyone to die. (Gus Johnson is awesome.)

PRO: Cyborg Santos has a wife.


Good for him. I realize being able to beat the crap out of a great number of people gives you fine confidence but I just have to imagine him asking me out from a woman’s inner monologue. “Oh um… hmmm…. if I say no he may drag me back to his cave in Lord of the Rings and rape me.” YES, SURE. ANYTIME. Well I suppose Seal did get Heidi Klum. (He only speaks Portuguese right?)

(“Adam Morgan: (8:19:44 PM): I like the rape joke”)

PRO: Carano/Santos frenzy. I can’t imagine EXC was happy with all of the Gina Carano talk and camera shots during the Baszler/Cyborg fight. Actually they were, it would hype a fight and put a big draw on the tv screen. But in general we all know they wouldn’t actually make this fight…. right? There is no way Gina Carano and Cristiane Santos are fighting next are they? They wouldn’t put Kimbo in there with Antonio Silva I can’t imagine they’d do that. Or maybe I’m going overboard on the Cyborg hype. I’d still love to see Carano vs Baszler.

CON: Hearing a name pronounced for the first time. We’ve all done it. Remember the first time you read the name Fabricio Werdum and then remember the first time you actually saw him fight? Your “Word’um” and “Ver’doon” weren’t very close to matching. We’ve learned our Brazilian Rs are Hs and our German Vs and Ws. This is why I can never do a radio show…. I rarely to never feel stupid but when I hear a name I’d previously butchered pronounced by Renallo or someone I cringe a little. Who knows how many times people are arguing with you and can’t even pronounce the person’s name they’re talking about. We shouldn’t feel too bad, I’m sure there are millions of people in Japan that think his name is Dahwn Hendahsawn.

CON: Only the referee or doctor can stop the fight. OH REALLY!? I can’t stop the fight? Are you sure? Am I not qualified? I understand if only one of them can stop the bout, that bears mentioning. Like if in a boxing match they say only the referee can stop the bout. Okay, that means the doctor can’t and he’d only relay his official judgment to the referee. So if we’re mentioning both the ref and the doctor who else could? What about a guy in the front row? I realize I’m nitpicking, it’s just the ref/doctor combo is as annoying as people asking for a check instead of a bill at a restaurant. Or that the Millennium was actually 2001 instead of 2000. It’s something incorrect that is socially accepted and those things bother me.

PRO: Boss Caplan (he makes us call him that, don’t ask) being mentioned during a primetime CBS broadcast. I’m sure it was a proud moment. If they ever mention me (not counting on it) everyone will just assume it’s a random reference to the former Republican presidential candidate from Arkansas. None the less this is a big step and congrats.

CON: Stupidity. Mine. If you happen to be seeing a girl and saying nonsense as you date her make sure that just because you may know a few words and sentences in a language that you don’t say you speak that language to be impressive. Say, for example only, if you know a little Japanese from watching some, I don’t know, MMA or some songs…. that you don’t say “I can speak Japanese.” Sure, it’s impressive at first. Until you meet her surprising Japanese friend and she mentions you speak Japanese. That is your life lesson for the article. And you’re single.

Follow 5OZ