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Pick Em Showdown – “UFC 135: Jones vs. Rampage”

Being under the Rebellion Media umbrella brings us a lot of opportunities here at Five Ounces of Pain. One opportunity that has come along is a “Pick Em Showdown” between us and the fine folks over at

The showdown is set to go down on September 24 when the fighters on UFC 135 are going to throw down.

Fightlinker laid down the challenge a couple of weeks ago, and as the resident fight analyst here at 5OZ, I of course accepted. I actually hesitated to accept, because I thought it was some kind of joke. I thought Ashton Kutcher was Punk’n me. Have they seen my record? Of course they haven’t. Because I don’t keep track of it. Seriously though, I thought, “the audacity of these people to challenge me to a pick em.” I laughed it off and didn’t give it a second thought. Then I got pressure from the powers that be to accept the challenge and the folks at Fightlinker thought I was scared. SCARED!?!?! I was scared for them. I didn’t want to embarrass them. I didn’t answer the challenge immediately because I had better things to worry about. Like trying to acquire the travel schedule of Kate Upton.

I accepted the challenge though, because I got tired of Fightlinker spamming my email with pictures of Matthew McConaughey with his shirt off. I don’t know where they found all those pictures and so quickly, but I’ll tell you one thing, a lot of pictures looked like they were taken within the hour and uploaded immediately from a phone. So draw your own conclusions.

Then the tough part came: naming the stipulations. That’s right. This isn’t just about bragging rights because that’s some lowly bought PPV put on a by a wrestling company; this is about making the loser suffer. The Fightlinker people suggested, “How about the loser has to sing Taylor Swift karaoke?” and I told them, “That’s a regular Saturday night out for me.” The powers that be thought it would be a good idea to dump Coors Light on the loser since it’s known for its association with the Rockies and UFC 135 is in Denver. Now, I’m fine with this idea, but that just seems like a waste of beer to me. Where I come from, we call that alcohol abuse to just pour beer on your head instead of down your throat.

So we turn to you, the fine readers here at 5OZ and ask you for your suggestions of what the loser should have to do. The only rule is that no bodily harm can be involved, as I refuse to mess up my pretty face or subject harm to my fingers because those are my money makers. Make your suggestion with complete confidence that I will win this showdown, because, well, I will win this showdown. I just hope they don’t pull a Nick Diaz and are afraid to promote the showdown because they know I’ll lay on them for 25 minutes. Wait. Scratch that. I’m Chuck Liddell to Fightlinker’s Tito Ortiz. I’m going to knock them out and beat them with my dodge balls!

Make your suggestions in the “Comments” section below…

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