The Scorecard – UFC 136

The Scorecard hits the highs and lows of the latest big event offering in MMA. Points are assigned completely at random but stay between ten and negative ten because I hate math.

Sports fans in Houston aren’t used to seeing champions. The Astros have been at the bottom of the league for a number of years now and the Texans are always the sexy pick in the pre-season but yet have never gotten over the hump. This past Saturday night, they witnessed one of the best championship performances in MMA history at UFC 136.

Lets go to the scorecard:

*It didn’t take long for our first Eminem walk-out song of the night as Mike Massenzio came out to “Lose Yourself.” PLUS TWO

*I respect any man who walks out to “Intergalactic” by The Beastie Boys. You’re a good man in my book Steve Cantwell. PLUS ONE

*Cantwell was picking apart Massenzio with straight punches and kicks, so what does he try? A flying knee. At least he didn’t end up Arlovski’d. MINUS THREE

*”You got dog in you,” said one of Cantwell’s trainers. THAT’S RIGHT! WE DON’T WANT A BUNCH OF CATS! WE NEED DOGS! PLUS TWO

*Much credit to Massenzio for coming back after a tough first round and beating Cantwell. PLUS FOUR

*That said, you were hurting him with strikes and you kept going for takedowns? Come on man. MINUS TWO

*Dropping a F Bomb in your post-fight interview will always earn you points from me. PLUS ONE

*I’m disappointed that Joe Rogan didn’t mention to not blow your nose if it’s broken because your eye will swell up. Maybe he’s caught on to the drinking game. MINUS ONE

*Shouldn’t Eric Schafer have to change his nickname to “Blonde”? EVEN

*Obligatory points for the obligatory Chuck Liddell mention during Schafer vs. Aaron Simpson. PLUS TWO

*Rogan wondered what Schafer’s game plan was, I think it was to get punched a lot. So he was following the game plan perfectly. EVEN

*”Embrace the grind” is Mike Goldberg’s favorite wrestling cliché. MINUS TWO

*While I wouldn’t mind mmm-boping Vanessa Hanson’s ba duba dop, I still want UFC to hire a blonde ring girl. PLUS FOUR for Vanessa, MINUS THREE for her not being blonde.

*I never understand why Rogan gets so mad at guys not throwing kicks. It’s probably because they’re not very good at it. MINUS THREE

*Dominant performance by Simpson. Good for him. PLUS FOUR

*Terrible performance by Schafer. Another UFC run over. MINUS THREE

*I’m pretty shocked Rogan didn’t have a wacky name for the weird neck crank position that Darren Elkins had Tiequan Zhang in. Maybe he’ll have one next time. MINUS ONE

*You would think that Zhang would have given up on the guillotine to defend the takedown after it failed the first couple of times. MINUS FOUR

*Vanessa looked very nervous walking down the steps after handing off her card and then was applauded when she made it down. Why did Brittney Palmer have to go to art school? MINUS THREE

*Great grappling performance by Elkins. Dominated Zhang on the ground. PLUS THREE

*Someone should tell Stipe Miocic that Mirko Cro Cop has exclusive rights to the checkered shorts. MINUS TWO

*Joey Beltran is a tough guy to make your UFC debut against and Miocic did well for himself. Good all-around performance. PLUS FOUR

*I have to take away points for four straight decisions though. May have earned UFC some “thumbs down” on Facebook. MINUS FOUR

*What happened to Anthony Pettis’ takedown defense? He was superb against Shane Roller and Ben Henderson but he let Jeremy Stephens take him down? MINUS THREE

*I give credit to Pettis for turning things around, realizing he was the better grappler, and putting Stephens on his back. PLUS FIVE

*That said, what an extremely disappointing fight. Everyone expected fireworks given the striking ability of both men and instead it turned into a wrestling/grappling contest. Not saying it was a bad fight, but it was disappointing. MINUS TWO

*Docking more points for another decision. MINUS FOUR

*Jorge Santiago’s UFC return hasn’t quite gone as planned. At least he stayed conscious this time. MINUS ONE

*Remember when Demian Maia was a killer on the ground? I miss that guy. MINUS TWO

*That said, a dominant performance by Maia against a good Santiago. So I have to give him credit. PLUS FOUR

*Another decision though, so I have to dock points. MINUS FOUR

*YELL AT ME JOE AND DANA! YELL AT ME! PLUS TWO

*Jose Aldo said, “if Kenny Florian wants a belt, he needs to drop down to bantamweight.” Don’t give the man any ideas Jose. EVEN

*I can never take Joe Lauzon serious with a nickname like “J-Lau” I keep waiting for him to get pulled out of a car and start dancing. MINUS TWO

*Melvin Guillard coming out to “H.A.M.” by Kanye West and Jay-Z easily earns him points. PLUS THREE

*Lauzon might be the most dangerous first round fighter in the history of MMA. PLUS SIX

*So much for Guillard putting it all together and making a run at the title. He still remains the most enigmatic fighter in MMA. MINUS FOUR

*Extra points for Lauzon earning the first finish of the night. PLUS FIVE

*The crowd booing Rashad Evans and then immediately cheering Forrest Griffin was pretty awesome. Also awesome to see them laughing it up despite having fought in the past. PLUS THREE

*I give credit to Nam Phan coming out to “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster The People. An awkward choice, but I respect it. PLUS THREE

*”When Leonard Garcia gets tired, he starts winging punches.” He must get tired during his walk out. EVEN

*Garcia dropped an F Bomb prior to the third round. As always, Fighter F Bombs = positive points. PLUS TWO

*Great body shots throughout the fight from Phan. I love me some body shots. PLUS FIVE

*The Phan vs. Garcia fight was exactly what everyone expected it to be. A hell of a scrap with Garcia winging punches and Phan using more technique. PLUS EIGHT

*Phan’s reaction when he was announced the winner was awesome. PLUS THREE

*The double post-fight interview was cool, except for the fact that the winner didn’t get to say but three words. MINUS THREE

*Why would Brian Stann throw a single leg kick against a wrestler like Chael Sonnen? MINUS FOUR

*This just in: Sonnen is still an absolutely dominating wrestler. PLUS FIVE

*Great job by Sonnen to finish the fight. He controlled Stann on the ground the entire fight and put him away with the arm triangle. PLUS SIX

*Much love to the crowd for chanting “Silva” after Sonnen’s victory. PLUS TWO

*We all knew Sonnen would call out Silva, but to add pro-wrestling stipulations was pretty awesome. Granted nothing will come of those stipulations, because no one adheres to stips nowadays, but it was a great job of putting the fight out there and getting people talking. PLUS TWO

*I love Aldo’s walk out. Great music combined with the right amount of energy. PLUS THREE

*Ok, I love “F Bombs”, but someone needs to wash Keith Florian’s mouth out with soap. Maybe if he spent less time using the f-word and more time giving Kenny some actual advice, the result would have been different. MINUS FOUR

*UNDERHOOKS KENNY! UNDERHOOKS! MINUS THREE

*I was impressed that Florian took a solid number of punches. I’ve always believed that he’s been a little afraid to get hit but he ate some good punches from Aldo. PLUS THREE

*Otherwise Florian used the same strategy he tried against B.J. Penn: put my opponent against the cage and hope the judges give me the rounds based on control. That’s obviously not a winning strategy. MINUS SIX

*Not a great performance by Aldo but he got the job done. PLUS TWO

*Rogan’s commentary was especially bad in this fight. How he thought the fight was close is beyond me. All he had to do was look at the reactions when the final horn sounded. Florian knew he lost, Aldo knew he won. MINUS FOUR

*Gray Maynard running to the octagon was awesome. You could tell he was ready to go out there and put a beat down on Frankie Edgar. PLUS ONE

*Edgar never goes wrong with ”Kick In The Door” by Biggie as his walk out song. PLUS TWO

*Once again, how in the hell did Edgar survive the first round? It was like watching a replay. Maynard dominated the first round, was more patient this time, but still couldn’t put the champ away. PLUS FIVE

*Maybe Edgar was getting a little too happy mounting his comeback and that’s why he had to pour water down his pants? Otherwise I can’t explain that one. EVEN

*Edgar showed Maynard how to finish a fight when you rock someone. What an amazing finish. PLUS SEVEN

*And seriously, what an amazing fight. Epic first round, a great come back by Edgar just to survive and regain himself, and an epic finish. That fight, not Garcia vs. Phan, is what MMA is all about. PLUS TEN

*A bad night for the commentary crew. Maybe four events in four weeks drained them, but they were really off their game. MINUS FIVE

*While the preliminaries didn’t do much for me, the main card was very good, so the card as a whole earns extra points. PLUS FIVE

Final Score: 44

PHOTO CREDIT – UFC

3 COMMENTS
  • fanoftna33 says:

    Love these articles but completly disagree with your take on Stephens vs Pettis, I thought it was a very even fight with both guys showing great skills, and just because they didnt stand in front of each other and wildly swing for the fences doesnt mean it was dissapointing in any way.

    Agree or Disagree: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • Angry Mike says:

    If Rogan had said “liver punch” with a Dutch accent instead of “body shot” during Phan v. Garcia, it would have been plus ten and double bonus.

    Agree or Disagree: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  • Con says:

    Garcia did drop an “F” bomb but it was hilarious. He was pointing to Phan and said “you little *ucker”. Funny stuff.

    Agree or Disagree: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

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