Brittney Palmer is Back. You’re Welcome.

After thousands of letters and tweets, just from me, and thousands of more tweets from the rest of the Brittney Bunch, the lovely and beautiful Brittney Palmer is back with the UFC.

It was inevitable really. From the moment she graced the Octagon at UFC 125, she instantly became the most popular female to walk around a cage carrying an oversized card with a number on it. When it was announced that she would be taking time off to go to art school, fans were outraged.

I still contend that Brittney doesn’t need the UFC. She still has her art, is working on a clothing line, and is now the new spokesperson for GAMMA. She’s doing just fine on her own. She’s returning because it’s what the fans asked, nay, begged for and, as a woman of the people, Brittney was happy to oblige. That just goes to show what a kind-hearted person she truly is.

She’s like Jeff Bridges in True Grit. He didn’t need to track down Josh Brolin, but he saw the look on Haliee Steinfeld’s face and after some words of encouragement, he was on his horse ready to kill a man. We’ll just ignore that whole part about the $50.

I don’t want to start any conspiracy theories, but if you look at the landscape of the UFC from UFC 133 (the first non-Palmer event of the year) to now, there have been a lot of unfortunate happenings.

Tito Ortiz wins for the first time in forever at UFC 132, in front of Brittney, and then gets destroyed at UFC 133 by Rashad Evans, with no Brittney at cageside. Not only did Ortiz lose at UFC 133, but he was only in that fight because Phil Davis pulled out of the main event. That card also lost their co-main event between Rich Franklin and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira. At the following event, Chris Lytle retired before the fight, despite still be a very competitive welterweight. No American’s won at UFC 134 in Brazil. UFC Fight Night 25 was the lowest rated Spike TV event of the year. Diego Sanchez pulled out of UFC 135. Dominick Cruz got stuck on Versus after headlining a PPV. Jose Aldo had his first non-entertaining fight in the octagon at UFC 136. Georges St. Pierre pulled out of UFC 137 and then Mirko Filipovic and B.J. Penn retired after losses. Finally, UFC 138 was one of the weakest cards ever and UFC failed to do any promotion.

I’m not saying guys have pulled out of fights or weren’t fighting as hard or decided to retire because Ms. Palmer isn’t in her usual chair, but just look at the evidence.

Now, Brittney is back, and UFC on FOX is going about as well as it can. Cain Velasquez and Junior dos Santos are healthy and are ready for the biggest UFC fight in history. In fact, FOX only wanted to put one fight on television just so they could show more Brittney.

Also, I don’t want to take credit for Brittney’s return, but I received no less than five Tweets and texts from friends congratulating me on her return. That’s right, they congratulated ME, like I’m the one who will be wearing booty shorts and receiving catcalls on Saturday night.

So while I don’t want to take credit for her return, I will.

I spent many hours writing letters and tweets, talking on podcasts, and praying for the UFC return of Brittney Palmer. It’s true that hard work pays off. I worked hard in my goal to get Brittney back and it finally paid off this past week.

I’d like to thank myself, for working so damn hard. My swagga coach, Taavon, for making me as awesome as I am. Five Ounces of Pain for allowing me to write excellence anytime I want. And Brittney Palmer for looking hot and being humble.

Oh yeah, and God.

PHOTO CREDIT – UFC

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