In my continuing attempt to destroy the credibility and dignity of this blog I have decided to present to you fake telephone interviews. Yes, you read that right. I don’t know why I haven’t been fired yet either.

MH: Hey Ricardo, thank you for taking the time to talk with me today.
RA: No problem, always a pleasure.
MH: I want to open by discussing your last fight, a KO loss to Sokoudjou.
RA: Yeah, but to be fair I came into that fight with a torn ACL and scurvy.
MH: Scurvy?
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Well, that was short lived. According to MMA Weekly, Arizona State University, a recent hotbed for college wrestlers turned mixed martial artists, has reinstated its wrestling program:

It didn’t take long for wrestling supporters to act. Now, just 10 day later, Arizona State wrestling boosters have raised the necessary $8 million in donations to revive the program.

Congrats to the Sun Devils for raising the necessary funds to keep an outstanding wrestling program and tradition going. Take that, Title IX!

Luke Thomas has an article over at BE entitled, “Keith Jardine Will Defeat Wanderlei Silva.”

Obviously the first thing to note is how seemingly incorrect the title of the piece appears to be. Let me start by saying I pride myself on predictions. I figure I hit about 86% on MMA fights and it’s something I hang my hat on. Ask Sam Caplan how surprised I was when Schultz beat Taurosevicius on the recent IFL show. When someone I pick to win loses I almost take it personally. Even with a few of the PRIDE veterans struggling in the UFC I saw all of those coming outside of Cro Cop. There are people out there that are more knowledgeable than I am about certain aspects but across the board in sports I pride myself on predicting who will win a vast majority of the time.

First of all, Luke is correct that the UFC won’t cut Wanderlei Silva following a decent loss. If they want to renegotiate his contract they know full well he could head back over to DREAM, get six figures, and pick up a couple of easy wins to continue his star. But Wanderlei won’t lose to Keith Jardine. I can perhaps see a Liddell/Wandy-like decision where it’s a slugfest and Jardine’s leg kicks end up wooing the judges. This is fairly plausible. But Jardine’s chin is more than questionable and with another unorthodox guy like Wanderlei in there with him I can’t help but think something hard is going to connect. The Houston Alexander fight was not a fluke for Keith Jardine. He fought a more powerful guy and got caught with a single punch. This doesn’t mean Houston is better than Jardine (my old college football comparison of Michigan > Notre Dame > Michigan State > Michigan applies). Rankings should be made based on how many guys below you you’re capable of beating. Matchups will always mess that up as someone worse than you can sometimes have an advantage. Keith Jardine is a better fighter than Houston Alexander, though if they fought again I’d take Alexander, again, by first round knockout. That’s just the way the game is played.

Jardine won’t be able to take all of Silva’s onslaught and he will get dropped. I see that fight about 85% for Wanderlei and life will go on.

Secondly, an excellent note over at AOL about Roy Nelson.

I told Sam prior to the fight that Nelson would “rape” Brad Imes. Not literally of course, I wouldn’t choose to watch that. Nelson is very much in the same league as Ben Rothwell, a top 10-15 heavyweight in every sense.

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It’s not easy to say but the first step is admitting you have a problem. I’ve been called an elitist about mixed martial arts maybe 20 times in the past, each one making me angrier than each instance prior. You see I’m never rude about anything nor am I ever rubbing what I know in anyone’s face. It seems to happen when I make a simple correction or point out the flaw in someone’s argument.

But something has always fascinated me. Why is our sport the only one where this happens? Why does every MMA argument around the internet have to deteriorate into, “how long have you been watching n00b!?” You don’t go to a football forum and see people being called Super Bowl n00bs before being told to watch more games. It’s like the world’s saddest pissing contest.

I finally cracked the case recently. People that were watching years before the boom get angry when new fans show up and dare to have opinions. They’re like that annoying concert going kid that knew who Fountains of Wayne were long before “Stacy’s Mom” became popular. “Oh man I saw them years ago, their old stuff is so much better.” Wow, you had heard of them before me? Give that man a medal. Apparently he thinks he’s part of the band and helped make them famous so he’s a much better human being than I. I mean he went to a show for Christ’s sake. A SHOW! You’re a winner. These people go around like they deserve a ribbon for hearing a song before you and it’s the reason I could never get into any type of music scene.

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FiveOuncesOfPain.com has learned that former New York Giants fullback Jarrod Bunch has turned down an opportunity to fight former Pittsburgh Steelers All-Pro offensive tackle Carlton Haselrig during the undercard of EliteXC’s debut CBS show on May 31.

Haselrig, who won his MMA debut against former IFL heavyweight Shane Ott on April 19, is without an opponent for EliteXC’s undercard, which will be streamed live from the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J. on ProElite.com.

Haselrig, who is also a former six-time NCAA Division I and II wrestling champion, TKO’d Ott at 4:09 of round 1 during Battle Cage Xtreme 4 in Atlantic City. Meanwhile, Bunch is 0-1 in his brief mixed martial arts career, losing his one and only fight to former Washington wide receiver Michael Westbrook during a King of the Cage show in 2005.

EliteXC contracted heavyweight and former Giants’ offensive lineman Bobby Jones was originally proposed as an opponent for Haselrig but was unable to accept the match due to a neck injury. There have been rumblings that EliteXC officials were interested in signing former Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Marcus Jones to fight Haselrig, however, Jones is already signed to fight Hercules Benjamin on May 30 in Atlantic City for the World Fighting Championships.

I’m someone that constantly enjoys playing devil’s advocate and arguing with people. But not even I dare defend the utter trash that is Iron Ring. Kid Nate over at BE decided to try and defend the show but basically just said it’s good because it’s successful and has neat camera angles. Well neat flashy camera angles are the reason I can’t watch MTV anymore, I’m getting too old and last time I tried I had a seizure.

the same old whining from MMA fanboys who resent the success of Iron Ring

First of all it’s never good to start any type of opinion piece by stereotyping everyone that disagrees with you into a group lower than you as if to place yourself as superior.

No, I can’t just dislike Iron Ring for the obvious reasons or think it’s god awful, it’s because I’m an MMA fanboy and I deeply resent they’re doing well. I suppose I don’t watch Dancing with the Stars only because I’m a dancing fanboy and I resent their success. It’s not that it simply isn’t my demographic or I’m not a fan, no, there is an ulterior motive.

It can’t be because a majority of the owners and coaches make the show less watchable than one hosted by Kalib Starnes and Tim Sylvia. T.I., which I previously thought was a calculator, saying he “ain’t never been touched” wasn’t obnoxious at all. Especially considering 90% of people in a room with him at any given time could probably throw him through a window. No, I love self-indulgent nonsense, it’s my cup of tea. Stay tuned for BET’s next highly rated series, Iron Rook, where celeb coach T.I. will discuss how Bobby Fischer ain’t got nothing on him.

How about when the Japanese fighter was fighting the black fighter and you heard shouts of, “SEND HIM BACK TO JAPAN!” Where is their Emmy?

Make sure you don’t teach jiu-jitsu and instead point out punching to the head with a kung fu style works the best. Oh and make sure you laugh at the guys warming up because as they stated on the show, you don’t get no warm up for a street fight! Hmm, I thought that’s what all of the cursing and lurching forward like you’re going to hit someone was.

Final side note about Krazy Horse Bennett. At one point he rightfully pointed out he could take the rappers around him in a fight. When called out on it he surveyed the situation and said he was just kidding. I didn’t think a guy who has been arrested 60 times could lose street cred….

Look, watch the show if you want, it’s your prerogative. But don’t call me names because I feel it insults my sport and my intelligence.

It looks like those who predicted that Kalib Starnes would no longer be with the UFC after his shameful performance in the Octagon at UFC 83 were correct. According to Yahoo! Sports, Starnes has been cut from his contract:

After losing a unanimous decision on scores of 30-26, 30-27, and an unheard-of 30-24, Starnes received even worse news: He was cut from his contract by UFC president Dana White.

“He just doesn’t belong in the UFC and after his performance the other night, he should consider a new line of work,” White said Monday.

Ouch. That hurts. If there’s one thing that Dana White hates more than anything, it’s guys who don’t come to fight or guys who put on boring fights. Starnes didn’t come to fight on Saturday and spent the whole fight running away from Quarry, who was brutalizing Starnes whenever he had the chance. I have no doubt that another promotion will pick Starnes up, but this should be a lesson to him.

Our friends at MMAjunkie.com point out that in Monday’s press release to announce the re-signing of Kimbo Slice, Robbie Lawler, and Gina Carano, EliteXC also confirmed that the second airing of “Saturday Night Fights” is scheduled for CBS on July 26.

Slice, Lawler, and Carano, three of the company’s most prominent fighters, are all slated for the first EliteXC show on CBS on May 31. Many bloggers have raised questions about whether the lineup currently in place for that show is strong enough to draw a good enough rating that will warrant a second airing.

A lot of people panicked after CBS axed “Secret Talents of the Stars” (or is it hidden talents? I’m not sure, nor do I really care) after just one airing. The show’s quick cancellation was a reminder of how everything changes in television if you don’t draw ratings. There’s probably a magic number that “Saturday Night Fights” needs to hit. I’m not sure what that number is, but Michael Rome of BloodyElbow.com recently wrote an article where he says he believes that the number is a 1.5.

If that’s the number, then I think EliteXC is going to do fine for the first show. We don’t know the full cost dynamics of that broadcast and while ratings are extremely important, the cost of running a show is also a factor. Saturday is traditionally the worst-rated night of the week for prime-time and CBS is also getting a piece of EliteXC for every show it runs. As such, I think the expectations for “Saturday Night Fights” is going to be different than a typical show that airs mid-week on primetime.

Where I think EliteXC runs into trouble is during that second show in July. And when I say trouble, perhaps I should say major trouble?

Network TV ratings traditionally go down in the summer. Saturday’s are especially bad. Saturday’s in the dead of summer? Man, I don’t think there’s a worse situation to have to draw a rating. People that don’t usually leave the house tend to go out on a Saturday night in the summer, even if it’s just to take their kids out for ice cream. When it comes to CBS, EliteXC will live or die by the viewing habit of the casual viewer. Hardcores will tune into that show no matter what because it’s free MMA but the casual viewer might have other ideas that night (a baseball game, a Hollywood blockbuster, etc.).

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I was looking for video of some very critical comments that former “A Current Affair” and current “O’Reilly Factor” host Bill O’Reilly made about CBS’ decision to televise mixed martial arts.

I’ve yet to find that video but Mike Straka of FoxNews.com’s “Fight Game” webcast was a guest recently on “Fox & Friends” and discussed whether MMA can be a viable entity on primetime network television.

FFF4 went down this past Wed 4/3. Combat Lifestyle has the pics…

Check out more on FiveOuncesofPain.com

Influence of MMA has reached the world of professional wrestling at it’s biggest stage.

This past Sunday night at Wrestlemania XXIV, the Undertaker beat Edge with a gogoplata submission.

Formerly known as the “Dead Man” and “American Badass”, the Undertaker has evolved his character into a mixed martial arts fighter of sorts. This includes wearing MMA style gloves and using submissions a lot more often in his matches.

To put this in perspective: Vince MacMahon scripted a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu submission as the finisher for the biggest WWE event of the year.

Somewhere Lou Thesz is rolling over in his grave.

Last night it was announced by MMA Weekly that Nick Diaz would no longer be competing on Saturday’s card due to “undisclosed reasons.” Now, according to Sherdog, we’ve found out what those reasons are:

“He did not turn in his medical information in time for the fight,” said Garcia, confirming an MMAWeekly report that Diaz was removed from the Showtime-televised card. “They were just turned in today.”

Late Wednesday evening, however, EliteXC President Gary Shaw, who promotes Diaz, disputed Garcia’s account.

“He never mentioned anything about late medicals,” said Shaw. “And if there were late medicals it wasn’t because of Nick Diaz and it wasn’t because of EliteXC.”

The issue, as described to him by Garcia, said Shaw, was Diaz’s prescription for medical marijuana, which is legal in California based on the Compassionate Use Act of 1996.

According to the report, Cesar Gracie says that Diaz’s card is for his Attention Deficit Disorder. Whatever. That’s not the issue at hand here. The issue is, according to this report, that Diaz told the commission’s own doctor on March 10th that he uses medical marijuana. That was over two and a half weeks ago and somehow it’s become an issue just two or three days before the fight was supposed to take place. Looks like a serious case of miscommunication on someone’s part here.

Jared Shaw, the VP of EliteXC, does go on to say in the report that Diaz is scheduled to fight on their June 14th show in Hawaii.

Check out more Nick Diaz content on FiveOuncesOfPain.com!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am in possession of TWO tickets to Saturday’s UFC 82: Pride of a Champion event that I will not be using. If anyone would like to purchase these tickets, contact me at adam.j.morgan@hotmail.com. I am selling them at the price I purchased them at, so you’re getting them at face value plus Ticketmaster taxes and all that crap. These are E-Tickets so I can easily e-mail them to whoever purchases them.

When: Saturday, March 1st, 2008 - Nationwide Arena, Columbus, OH
Where: Section 209, Row P, Seats 15 and 16

Again, if you’re interested, email me: adam.j.morgan@hotmail.com

In a little snippet from Ken Pavia’s latest “Lifefood Diet” experiment at MMA Junkie, Ken tells us that two of his clients, Richie Hightower and Jordan Radev have been dropped from the UFC:

The day needed a pick-me-up so I called UFC matchmaker Joe Silva to check the progress of my guys’ fights. He said he was still working on it but then informed me they would be releasing two of them, Jordan Radev and Richie Hightower.

On Radev:

While I protested, he made good points. Jordan just lost to Dean Lister at the last UFC to bring him to 0-2 in the show. He is a Bulgarian Olympic wrestler who had killed it in Europe going 11-1.

On Hightower:

Joe Silva said we would be doing a disservice to this kid to throw him into the 170 mix at this stage of his development. “He is young, so why ruin him?” I will keep this kid working for sure.

I had a feeling that Hightower would get cut from the UFC if he lost his fight at the TUF 6 Finale. He just doesn’t have what it takes, at least at this point, to even be anywhere near the top of the UFC’s most talent laden division. Radev, on the other hand, is more of a disappointment than anything else. His wrestling credentials are very good but he was just never able to put it all together inside the Octagon. Going 11-1 in Europe is one thing. Winning one fight in the UFC is a task all unto itself.

From a recent interview with Fight Hype where they ask Sean Sherk to respond to some of the things that B.J. Penn has had to say about him:

“Oh, nice! My response is I’ve done everything I could do to prove my innocence, including a polygraph examination. I’d like to strap him up to a polygraph and find out when was the last time he smoked reefer. The guy is a pothead and he wants to talk about natural title belts and that’s not true. He’s got secrets and he’s not fighting for a natural title belt so he could say what he wants to say, but I hooked myself up to a polygraph and I’d like to see him do the same.”

Oh snap! The war of words is really heating up between these two and they’re not even scheduled to fight one another right now. It’s a bit out of control that Sherk would accuse B.J. of being a pothead seeing as he’s never tested positive for marijuana. Sherk, on the other hand, did test positive. The criticism flung at Sherk is legitimate while calling B.J. Penn a “pothead” isn’t warranted.

The UFC has to be pulling for Penn in his fight against Stevenson because a fight between Sherk and Penn could mean big money for the UFC considering how much trash they’re already talking.

HT: MMA Mania

This holiday weekend no fewer than 31 fights are scheduled to take place on major shows. While I don’t have time to do full previews of UFC 79, the finals of the IFL World Grand Prix, Yarennoka!, and K-1 HERO’s Premium Dynamite!, I still decided to sit down and furnish predictions for just about every single advertised fight on the four cards. It was a Herculian task, no doubt, but I want to test myself and see what kind of record I can compile.

I was going to just do predictions for the UFC, IFL, and Yarennoka but then I imagined getting an instant message from Jordan Breen saying “A real man would have also predicted the K-1 fights.” So I figured, what the hell, I’ll just throw those predictions in too. The goal is to finish with a 23-8 record. Can I do it? I have no idea but it will be fun trying to see if I can.

UFC 79: Nemesis

Georges St. Pierre vs. Matt Hughes for interim UFC welterweight title

I’ve thought long and hard and can’t come up with a reason as to why anyone would think the outcome of the third fight will be any different than the second. A short training camp might not help GSP but it won’t be enough to put Hughes over the top.

Prediction: St. Pierre via fourth round TKO.

Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva

This won’t go past the first round. If Silva comes out wanting to brawl, this will be Liddell’s fight. However, I think he knows how much is at stake and will fight a more technical fight, just as he did against Mirko Cro Cop in the openweight GP in ‘06. Silva just has more ways to win.

Prediction: Silva via TKO at 4:11 of round one.

Ryoto Machida vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou

I’m amazed that people are counting Sokoudjou out. They counted him out vs. Rogerio, which was understandable. Then they counted him out vs. Arona. Which is also understandable. Machida is good but Arona has a similar defensive style and we know how that one worked out.

Prediction: Sokoudjou via first round TKO.

Melvin Guillard vs. Rich Clementi

Guillard has a ton of potential, but potential only means you haven’t done it yet. Clementi is much more professional in his approach to fighting so there’s no way I can back Guillard in a fight like this.

Prediction: Clementi via unanimous decision.

Soa Palelei vs. Eddie Sanchez

Palelei is a heavyweight prospect that the UFC is going to look to build up for when they debut in Australia later this year. Sanchez is becoming the UFC’s heavyweight version of The Brooklyn Brawler; a guy who you can respect but not expect to win.

Prediction: Palelei via second round submission.

Luis Cane vs. James Irvin

Cane is the second of two heavyweight prospects that will be debuting at UFC 79. He’s a perfect 7-0 with none of the fights going the distance. I get the feeling Joe Silva has unearthed another diamond in the rough. While I like Irvin’s style, I just think Cane has the higher upside and is the more technical fighter.

Prediction: Cane via first round submission.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE REMAINDER OF THIS ARTICLE ON SAM CAPLAN’S PROELITE.COM BLOG

Adam Swift of MMAPayout.com writes the following about a potential deal between the UFC and CBS to televise a portion of UFC 81 on February 2:

For whatever it’s worth, based on conversations between MMAPayout.com and multiple sources within the industry, there seems to be a growing belief that the UFC-CBS deal has stalled or fallen apart altogether. At the very least there seems to be an emerging consensus that the deal won’t be in place in time for UFC 81 as has been rumored.

Swift is quick to clarify that his sources are not direct parties to the negotiations and that we should take it for what it’s worth.

However, where there’s smoke, there is fire. Several sources reported earlier this month that a deal was either imminent or was on the verge of being finalized. Well, the month is almost over and there’s been no hint of an announcement.

If you’re an MMA nut like the staff here at Five Ounces of Pain, you’re probably going to be watching the absolutely stacked WEC 31 card tonight on the Versus Network at 9 PM ET. Any thoughts, musings, predictions, or general discussion can go right here in this handy-dandy chat room once the event starts!

Also, feel free to compare your picks to those of the 5 Oz. Staff after the jump!

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This Tuesday at 7pm ET, ESPN will air a new episode of its new documentary show called “E:60.” The show follows a number of different stories involving sports, usually 5 or more stories in one episode. In a previous episode, “E:60″ ran a story exploring Mixed Martial Arts as a sport, highlighting Pat Miletich’s gym in Iowa.

On Tuesday, December 11, “E:60″ will be run a segment featuring Kimbo Slice. From the looks of the preview, the story will explore his upbringing and road to becoming a mixed martial artist. Whether you support Kimbo Slice or not, this should be an interesting segment that is brought from an unbiased standpoint.

Again, “E:60″ is aired on ESPN, Tuesdays at 7pm ET.

Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer is reporting that UFC officials have confirmed that Sean Sherk has been stripped of the lightweight title.